To Find What is Family
by ExodusofDreams
Summary: The Russo siblings' parents are killed in an accident. Aunt Megan is the family wizard. Under her roof they live with her magical tyranny in fear. Will the siblings unite and and be able to face this new challenge or will they lose their powers forever?
1. Chapter 1: Miracles & Tradegy

**Disclaimer: I do not own Wizards of Waverly Place or any characters from the show. Of course, this is a work of fiction. **

**This story is rated M due primarily language, violence, and abusive situations and themes in upcoming chapters. **

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><p><strong>This is a very different story for me. I've never written on this potential scale from the first person (Alex's view point). I would be hugely grateful for any reviews or suggestions for plot. And as always please feel free to private message me at any time for any reason. <strong>

If you want to learn more about my writing or me check out my profile.

******Aunt Megan seems to be a virtually unknown/unwritten character on this site so I've decided to write a story focusing on her and the Russo siblings. ****This story will start out slowly and quickly build up so if you aren't entirely sure where I'm headed that's ok. You won't have to wait nine chapters in to understand what is happening.**********

******I'll let you guys and girls be the ultimate judge of how successful I am in this new venture.**  
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**Lastly thank you to a couple special friends, stepsteptrip, AnnieMJ, bodysoul-D, and Ad3n couldn't have made it this far without you guys. Love yeah!**

**Thanks for the patience to read the long authors note. Now, on with the show!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

"Alex, Justin, Max Russo, report to the principle's office immediately for dismissal. That will be all." The secretary announces via the intercom system. The fact that the proclamation is broadcast throughout the entire school is lost on me. I also fail to detect the subtle hint of desperation and urgency in the voice.

Internally I am thrilled at the development. It is a great opportunity to escape the math exam that I am just beginning. Of course I saw no point in studying or anything so my chances of doing well are about as slim as Justin not doing what I am currently; failing.

Quickly I shove the various books and notebooks into my backpack. I can sense the grins and snickers behind and to my sides from my classmates. Everyone knows that the principles office is like a second home to me. They, and likely the teacher too assume this is one more occasion only perhaps somehow involving my family too.

Who knows, who cares? I'm free! I hand in my vastly unfinished test to the teacher and with a nod sends me my way.

My mood cannot be better and I trot happily into Mr. Laritate – the principles office. My brother's Max and Justin look at me curiously and I shrug. They are as clueless as I am. The pair likely assumes that this has something to do with me. Just because I cause mayhem and chaos doesn't mean I do so on _this_ degree! Give a girl some credit here!

However, unlike the boys I can instantly tell something is wrong. The tension is palpable. That is when I notice the police officer standing by the principle. _That_ can't be good. Sure I may push and bend rules but even _I _have a concept of what is too much. Frantically I begin to search my mind from my most recent pranks and tricks. Nothing comes to mind so I rapidly become indignant.

Before I can even open my mouth to demand an explanation we are being guided into an already running police car. The blue and white lights flash as the three of us wordlessly sit in the back seat waiting for an explanation.

The cop's partner turns to us while the other is driving. Sadness and tension is in his eyes as he speaks. "Kids, I'm afraid there has been a terrible accident. Your parents have been in a dreadful accident. They have been rushed by trauma helicopter to Bellevue Hospital intensive care burn unit. I'm supposed to bring you there as quickly as possible."

By now the sirens are on full blast, traffic is scrambling to make way but none of it matters to me. Time seems to stop as the shock of the words sink deeply into my brain. Seconds pass by like hours as the realization hits my terrified. Instantly a hand goes to my heart. The other clenches Justin's hand tightly.

Justin and even Max too are in startled shock. Justin is as pale as a ghost. I'm sure I do not look much better. To my surprise and even greater relief Max is the one who speaks first.

"Are t-they… are t-they going to be ok?" Max does his best to maintain his confidence but his voice echoes his feelings by its' wavering.

The officer meets Max's gaze first then Justin and lastly mine. He sighs deeply as if building up courage. "I sincerely hope so." He offers another weak smile while Justin and I exchange a glance.

I've made it a skill to read people and I can he tell he is holding back. My response is darker, hollow and emotional. Words escape my mouth, my head still reeling. "How bad?"

He shakes his head. "I don't know I wasn't a responder but from what I've been told, it isn't good."

A fist connected with my stomach once so hard that I coughed up blood before passing out. I felt that way now. The elation from beyond is long gone and with nothing else to loose I rest my head against Justin's shoulder. I don't even bother to wipe away the tears. His hands only clasp my more tightly as he ushers Max into the hug with his left arm. The rest of the ride is silent. All of us are lost in thoughts and praying that our lives won't be ruined forever.

As soon as the car stops I open the door and race inside. Justin and Max are hot on my heels. I guess the cop sitting in the passenger seat expects this and follows behind. He doesn't even allow his partner to catch up.

The three of us dash up to the information desk and begin yelling at the poor woman behind it in a confused, jumbled heat of emotions and fear. Lacking any sense of speed the officer once again proves his prowess by guiding us along the mazelike corridors.

I expected us to go into one of the many waiting rooms but instead he took us directly into a private room. Or rather an office I should say; one that is meticulously decorated with great taste, and respect for color and quality furniture. An expensive looking replica of a Monet hangs on the wall. Ordinarily I would have been intrigued and gone closer to inspect it further. To me now it looks nothing more then a muddle of mud splattered on some cheap paper.

I suspect a setup. My gut says everything is wrong. Total and utterly bat-shit wrong and I refuse to sit in another one of those obnoxiously expensive chairs.

Another man walked through the door. He is dressed in a suit not scrubs unlike everyone else I have seen so far. I'm not sure whether to interpret this as a good sign or not but I try to quell my nervousness. I fiddle with the hem of my shirt. Anything to keep myself occupied away from the present.

Worse yet his expression is one of pure business and lacks emotion of any sort. I hate these types. I can never figure out what they are or there agendas. Apparently it doesn't matter because he gestures for us to take a seat. I am in the middle with Max to my left and Justin to the right. At a nod the officer goes to the far end of the room and stands next to the doorframe.

With no one saying anything I am automatically on edge. All of that is about to change as the suit reaches over and gentle shakes each of our hands.

"Please to meet you all. I wish the circumstances were better." He sits down at the chair to his desk. He takes off his classes too and for good measure wipes his forehead with a piece of white material pulled from a suit pocket. From the shine of his skin it is clear that he is anxious.

That does not help me at all. Now I'm well and truly frightened. My nerves get the best of me and I finally let them loose, half yelling as I stand. "What happened to them? Are they going to be ok? When can I see them?" My clenched hands slam onto the wooden desk roughly.

For once in a long time brother, sister and brother stand united in determination to uncover what has transpired and what everyone so fears to tell us.

"You're parents were traveling northbound along the highway." The man in the suit carefully explains. "A southbound fully loaded petroleum tanker lost control and passed through the median and guardrail. Their vehicle was sideswiped and forced underneath the truck. The tanker was punctured, ignited and exploded. Despite the strength of the fire we were able to rescue your parents at the scene." His voice is quiet and calm despite the intense feeling of stress in the air.

I look up at Justin for help. He is far more knowledgeable about these kinds of things and despite the pain he is in I am able to see his brain working quickly. "Give it to us straight Doc. I'm tired of all this run around. I'm sure Alex and Max feel the same way." Both of us quickly nod our agreement.

Another sigh fills the room from the white lab coated man. "Both are in critical condition. The fact they are here at all is amazing. But the outlook is not good. Most people believe that there are three categories of burns. First, second and third. In truth there is fourth degree as well. First is the equivalent of sunburn and affects the outermost skin layers. Second is more painful and goes deeper. It usually causes a bad redness or blistering.

"Third is worse. It involves the near to total destruction of skin and nerves. The person likely wouldn't feel a thing at the time assuming it was a sudden injury. For example a sudden spill of boiling water on your hand or arm. The body has little if any way to protect itself from infection at the wound site. If large enough skin grafts are usually required.

"Fourth is by far the worst, rarest and goes beyond third. In this case the burns are so deep that they reach muscle, tendon and bone. Little if any surrounding tissue is left to protect what is left. Most of the injuries to your parents are third and fourth. I don't know the percentage of burns on their bodies but in all actuality it doesn't matter. The outlook is very grim. They have sustained massive injuries.

I don't care about the details and from the look on Max's face he is clueless but I can tell he is troubled. The boy is trying to be strong but from the wavering jaw I know it is but time before the tears come free. Once more I wrap my arms around my brother. His head quickly finding a place between my shoulder and neck as moist droplets rain from eyes not my own.

"There is no real solution for fourth degree burns since every case is different. Even if they do make it they face huge challenges. As I said infections are a great threat, but so is dehydration and even starvation as the recovery process proceeds just because their bodies are using up so many resources simply to get better."

I didn't know how to respond. One would expect to be shouting, yelling, screaming, and collapsing into a heap of limbs, hair and tears. Surprisingly we stand united. I know that from the grips that I am getting from my brothers that they are just as traumatized as what words are mentioned.

Justin seems to be following the doctor's words closely and from years of torment and torture I have learned a lot about him. I may be just as clueless as Max but I can see from Justin's body language that whatever is being said is not good. One of his hands, the one not grasping my own is fisted tight enough that I can see thin slivers of blood trickle downwards.

I too don't have to look down to know that my knuckles are white and my nails are digging into palms not necessarily mine. And none of us care. I'm silently crying. I feel incredibly sick, nauseas once more. I think Justin and Max do too because suddenly all three of us are clinging to each other for support.

Quiet surrounds us for a few minutes. Each of us are left to our own terrifying, fearful thoughts mixed with bits and pieces of hope before the phone rings on his desk. The nameless man before comes around the desk and it up. The few words spoken give us no clue to the conversation that lasts but a mere thirty seconds.

His facial expression changes deeply. I don't need to be told what happened. My intuition and body gave me all the indications to me moments before.

"Kids. I am so sorry for your loss. Your mother and father have died from their wounds. Despite our best efforts, we couldn't revive him. His sorrow and sympathy is undeniable but is nothing compared to what I, to what we are feeling.

And then one by one starting with me I let the tears fall. I can't look up at Justin. I don't want too. I don't need too to comprehend the crystal droplets hitting the floor.

The room is eerily quiet, dangerous silent for a family to have received such news.

Max is the first one to speak and he looks up at Justin. The crestfallen broken, clenched jaw appearance on his older brother is enough to give the youngest Russo his answer but he presses for conformation anyway. "Are they… you know… gone…?"

My heart lurches with each word. I feel like I am going to faint and I fathom that Justin cannot answer so I do. "Yeah Max… there…there…" I can't complete the sentence as I fall to floor allowing the tsunamis of pain to overcome my normally stone solid defenses. Arms of my remaining family surrounds me in blur of movement, tears and shared anguish that squeezes my heart like a vice.

That evening we were fortunate. A close couple to our parents upon hearing our plight rushes to our aid. That saved us from spending a miserable dreary night in the hospital and with a social worker lauding all over us. Instantly offering their home to us for as long as we needed.

Although gracious for there hospitality it was difficult for all of us. There were times one would begin to cry only to set off another. It was a cycle of misery that continued.

Of course the accident made all the headlines local and state. For all I know maybe even nationally. How often does a tanker truck explode on a crowded highway?

The 11:00pm news that night was no exception. I was mostly pushing what little food was on my plate. Not that I had a lot to begin with. I simply had no appetite or will to eat. However my attention was diverted when the announcer began to talk about the accident. Even going so far as to offer film courtesy of a news helicopter.

"…The section of highway will remain closed through tomorrow to allow accident reconstruction crews the chance to determined exactly what happened that resulted to the two identified victims. As a courtesy to the family the names are not going to be released. However it does appear that fire investigators have discovered the remains of a third person…"

I shoot a glance to Justin and then Max both of them wide eyed, fear and tears returning quickly. Who else could we have possibly lost now?

Coverage of the accident continued for a minute or two right before the station prepared to break into advertisements.

"…Such a terrible tragedy and yet it could have been so much worse," the male announce says.

The female nods in agreement, "I know to have such a terrific explosion yet impact only one vehicle, the immediate surrounds and some grass and bushes during rush hour traffic. It is almost as if someone with a magic wand was watching over everyone else out there. It indeed is a miracle that so many more were spared. Of course, our greatest sympathies go out to all those affected by this horrible disaster."

Deep in my heart I didn't need any announcement to know who the third person was. Tears were already streaming down my face as I began to cry again. Instinctively I reached for Justin and Max once more. One face pictured in our collective heads besides our parents: Uncle Kelbo.

He is the only explanation. As erratic and insane as his behavior may seem at times he is rather intelligent. He also has a heart of gold just like our parents. I do not need any expert to tell me what happened.

In my head for whatever reason I can picture the tanker truck losing control. Our parents are in the front seats, my father Jerry driving. Theresa, our mother in the passenger seat next to him. There is no way either of them would trust Uncle Kelbo to drive a car in the first place. What is even more puzzling is why he got into the car with them to begin with when he could have used magic to zap, poof or transport or teleport them wherever who-knows-where.

In the end I guess it doesn't matter because upon seeing such a massive vehicle with such an obviously dangerous load I know that Uncle Kelbo is the one who sent the truck into their car. He is the one who enacted the winds or shields or whatever it was to protect the other people on the crowded highway.

I can only guess how long he had to do all that he did but it must not have been enough because he certainly had the skill and capability to teleport my parents away. Trade three lives to save a hundred. I'm almost certain that is how the brief conversation turned out between my mother and the two brothers. She always has the final word.

I can't get angry with any of them for the sacrifice but at the same time what I'm I suppose to do? I needed my parents. We all did. Even Justin, the oldest of us needed the guidance that only they could offer.

And so I cry. I cry for losing of everything that happened in the course of the day that forever changed my life. I cry for my Uncle. I cry for my Mother. I cry for my Father. I cry for my brothers I cry for all my hopes, goals and the shattered future I fathom won't happen in the way I always envisioned in my dreams.

I cry from uncertainty. I cry because I don't know what will happen or where we will go. So many questions lie unanswered and all of them scare me to the core. Yet through all this pain, all this misery I realize that my family has dynamically changed. My brothers and I are now bound together in a way few can comprehend.

Everything inside is torn asunder and wants to give up, curl into a ball and run until I can't run any further. But those who know me best know I don't do that. As much as it hurts, as much as I cry, as much as I may wish for the day to be different I know tomorrow is a new day.

With tears in my eyes I lie back on my pillow reflecting, dwelling deep into memories of those I love that I have now lost. I know I am a misfit, a rogue and rebel. Perhaps that is my destiny in life I don't know. But it is who I am and deep inside my parents sensed the goodness and kind-heart I have inside.

As exhaustion overtakes and I snuggle under the covers a strange sort of peace settles over me. They may be gone in the physical sense but my heart tells me differently. I know that they are watching over their beloved daughter and her brothers with pride and devotion. That somehow together we will overcome this tragedy stronger then before.

My eyes are already closed and I am nearly asleep when just barely I feel what are soft lips upon my warm forehead. The same spot my mother always touches before brushing the last errant locks out of my face after I have had a particular difficult day. It is a ritual started when I was barely old enough to walk and always ends with her wishing my good night.

Almost as if a whisper on the wind together I see the combined faces of my parents with Uncle Kelbo and hear the voices of those I cherished so much. "We love you Alex."

That is the last thing I remember before sleep takes over a smile on my face. Sadness replaced with inspirational hope.

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><p><strong>I'm honored that you have taken the time to read this and I'd be even more so if you took a couple minutes to review and offer feedback. Writing the conclusion of this has come after two and half days of no sleep. If there are huge glaring mistakes please point them out to me. I will be going back at some point to edit more fully when I can see and think straight.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2: Conversational Curves

**Ok. I apologize about the delay. I decided that the chapter that was initially going to be this one wasn't fitting. Instead that will be the next one. I will be releasing Chapter 3 in a few days since a few revisions are needed. **

**This chapter is a bit different from the first but is needed to set the foundation for what is to come.  
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**This kind of first person point of view writing (on this scale) is quite new to me so any feedback would be invaluable to me. Happy reading!  
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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

Sometimes there are moments in ones' life that measured in seconds, minutes, hours or days. In my case, or rather my brother's and I our destiny is decided in three weeks. We barely are able to comprehend the horrific destruction of our family when yet another shock is delivered to our already overwhelmed systems.

I suppose that at some point a person reaches a place where they become so desperate internally that something either shuts off or snaps.

Max had it easy. He couldn't understand the specifics and neither Justin nor I had the energy or will to explain to him. If someone else took the time to do so that was ok. Truth behold though, I sincerely believe that he is far happier not knowing.

The phrase 'ignorance is bliss' has far more meaning now to me than it ever did before. I cannot fear or be saddened over what I do not know. That does not mean I am ignorant of what is happening. After all I am also only beginning to realize the new pressures Justin is facing.

Being the oldest at eighteen he now has many responsibilities that no one at his age should ever be forced to contend with. Yet somehow he is able to stand firm, head held high throw it all. Regardless no one has the relationship with him that I do. I am able to see the strain. I see the growing cracks in his otherwise fearless façade.

We are all handling this difficult time in our own ways. For me this meant being there for Max and badly needed support for Justin. Rare moments appear of normality when one of us three reverts to our past. A past that isn't filled with the loss of three people we all love. This could mean Max confusing us once more beyond all comprehension and reason, or Justin and I returning to our forever cycle of sibling rivalry.

The problem for all of us is trying to find our new places in this life. We all have our own ways. I for one don't have a clue about mine. Frankly, I don't care either.

Fortunately our parents and even our uncle have solid wills in place. Justin given his age and maturity is the logical choice and he somehow is able to handle it all. I don't envy his job at all. And for once in a great long time I see no point, will or desire to torture him relentlessly without need or purpose.

For someone as nerdy and annoying I give Justin a lot of credit. I couldn't do what he is doing in a million years. That being what it is I still try to do what I can to encourage him and his efforts. So when Professor Crumbs called looking for him I told the good Professor that he was unavailable.

Of course naturally he doesn't believe me.

I can't say I blame him either. After all I don't have a spotless record when it comes to telling the truth. More to the fact I will do just about anything to save my ass no matter the cost. Or whoever happens to become embroiled in my scheme. He realizes this fact as well as my late parents.

Nonetheless I am not lying and after a brief debate he finally relents asking if he may speak to me since Justin is involved in other business. I relent.

Stupid choice since I right away I discover myself suddenly blinded as I am blinked – teleported into his private office. I stumble for a moment wide-eyed as the white fog dissipates behind my formerly unprepared eyes.

Teleporting with such little warning is not something that makes me happy and my scowl reflects that point quite clearly. Even more risky is that Max, Justin and I continue to reside with our parent's friends. Friends who quite frankly have as little knowledge of magic as I do pulling off straight A's in school or Max acting sane for a period longer than a week.

"Hello Ms. Russo." He apparently is not dissuaded by my dark expression because he continues to talk as I regain my site. "Take a seat please."

Professor Crumbs is as I remember him. Tall and thin his stature is one that is easy to forget just how imposing he may be. His most notable features, aside from the mostly bald head – lines of white along the sides – are his eyes and long snow beard. The man may be aged and not in his prime but whatever lack of physical prowess is more then compensated for his sharp mind, incredible array of knowledge and sheer audacity of wisdom.

Yup, I confirm. Nothings changed about him. I can tell because I _hate_ being called Ms. Russo. "Please just call me Alex," I groan.

He looks at me for a moment before nodding. "As you wish. Please sit then Alex."

On my numerous encounters with him I have never been able to out think him. Meaning that almost every time I see him is due to some trick or joke gone wrong. What is why also on those occasions I have always seen him in one of his regal wizard robes. One in particular happens to be quite purple with a touch of gold around the weaving where it meets in the front middle.

Today's appearance happens to be quite similar but instead of the purple I find it to be black. The edging a soft white that further highlights the darkness of what I imagine is a rather comfortable material.

To me the design looks like it came from that place made up off a lot of islands, has lots of earthquakes and makes lots of high tech computers and cars. States and geography never were a strong point of mine so I give up trying to come up with the right name.

I'd probably keep trying to think of the answer purely to avoid whatever Professor Crumbs is going to lecture me on this time. Ah the joys of having a short attention span.

Carefully I sit down in the offered chair. Trying not to fidget I decide placing my hands on top of his spotless desk is the best way to keep my emotions under control. To be honest, while Professor Crumbs is a kind soul I've always been rather intimidated in front of him. Usually because I feel like I'm about to be turned into a whipping girl – not that there haven't been times I deserved it.

My thoughts are rapidly shattered back into reality as he places warm hands on top of mine.

"Alex. I heard about your parents." Instantly my heartbeat accelerates. "From the bottom of my heart I am sorry for what you and your brothers are going through. I want you to know that their sacrifice will not be forgotten. All three will be remembered upon Merlin's Wall."

A moment passes for me to recognize his words. I suppose it to be ironic that I once again I notice his apparel and the color is almost entirely black, that of mourning. Calmly I remain strong and do not let my gathering emotions to gain control. I've done more then enough crying already.

However, I cannot forget his words. Even I am awed by Merlin's Wall. The special memorial is reserved for those who have sacrificed everything for the sake of another's well being. For a wizard it is one of the highest honors. Although for mere mortals, those who do not possess magic, I've never heard of such an allowance. Then again I've never been much for rules so while I appreciate the thought the impact is far less then he probably wants.

"Thank you Professor Crumbs." I answer sincerely. Even though _I_ may not fully grasp the implications I'm sure others will. Namely a certain brother O'mine named Justin.

Dumbly I look up at him still not sure why I am here. I can make out there is more he isn't telling me. "That," I pause to allow myself a chance to breathe, "isn't only why I'm here is it?"

"I'm afraid not Alex." The man never releases my hands and looks directly into my eyes.

Crap. That is never a good sign. I could always find out something was up by the way his brow wrinkled towards the bridge of his nose. Usually this only occurs when I'm up to no good.

Urgently I try to recall anything, _anything_ that might have provoked him into making such an unplanned meeting. That is of course aside from a very obvious recent life-changing event that I'd rather not rehearse in my head _again_.

Coming up with nothing I am left with blanks and leave him to clue me in.

"As you are fully aware the Wizard Competition cannot be started until all three of you complete your training." He removes his hands from mine and crosses them on the desk as he speaks. Cautiously I nod not sure where he is heading with this line of conversation. "Therefore we have a conflict I'm afraid. One that must be rectified immediately."

By now I'm utterly puzzled and starting to feel the dread in the pit of my stomach rise again. I try to hide my nervousness and cross my legs to keep them from shaking violently underneath me.

"You're parents specified that in the event something should happen to them your training would continue under the guise of your appointed guardian, that being your uncle. He would have the option of continuing your education either by himself or off to one of the many fine Wizard Schools available. Since the accident and there passing into the Ether, bless their souls, this is not possible." Professor Crumbs voice is calm and steady, breaking down the facts slowly as I digest them one by one.

Somehow I find that more strenuous then if he was upfront. I feel headache coming on and I rub my forehead. "Just what are you saying Professor Crumbs?"

This time it is his turn to shift nervously, an act that does not go unnoticed by me. "Since you are without an appointed guardian that is legally knowledgably about magic then the family wizard automatically reverts to the next surviving line of kin."

I blink at him not sure at all comprehending what he is saying. "What does that mean?" My voice comes out a bit harsher then I intend but at this point I'm beyond caring.

I'm sure Professor Crumbs hears my tone change but makes no indication carries on. "Alex, what it means is that the new family wizard is your father's sister. Your Aunt Megan. You and your brothers may continue your education with her."

Immediately I'm on my feet. "WHAT?" I shout. "You CANNOT be serious?" I'm stunned. I'm outraged. The emotions I've been choking down explode and I don't care there is no way in _Hell_ we're living with her. "She disowned her brothers years ago. She can't stand my brother's and me and YOU _expect_ us to _live_ with _her_" I spit the last sentence out with such loud vengeance that he flinches.

I'm pleased to see that the Professor is actually acting a bit panicky himself in reaction to my barrage. I'm also glad that _I'm _the one who is summoned and not Justin. I love my brother but there are times that he lacks the balls to get the right message across. And sometimes that is with brute harsh tones. Something I do tend to excel in if need be.

He holds up his hands defensively. "Peace Alex, Peace. I empathize with your situation-"

"You empathize with my situation? Bullshit!" I shout. "You're condemning what remains of MY family to fucking-"

"ALEX RUSSO!" The bellow is unexpected and silences my tirade immediately. "I WILL NOT allow such foul language in my office under any circumstances."

By now we are both standing toe-to-toe, eye-to-eye. Mine are filled with fire while his are unreadable, stern and imposing. Suddenly I feel very small and insignificant.

I feel a hand touch each of my shoulders. They push me gently away but our gaze never falters. The dangerous edge and harshness in his voice moments ago now turns sympatric and soothing.

"Alex. I too am not pleased with this turnout. In fact I strongly advocated against this course of action in front of the Wizarding Council but they disagreed. You must realize by now that our highest law above all is the prevention of magic being discovered by those who are not users themselves. Certain exceptions of course are made such as with your mother and father."

I slowly nod my head. Only now am I learning how truly diabolic the Wizard Competition may become.

According to the rules of wizardry only one full-fledged wizard is allowed per generation. My father won the Wizard Competition against his brother and sister but gave up his powers to his brother – Uncle Kelbo – so that he could marry our mother. She had no idea magic existed and was only allowed to find out after having children as our father began teaching us in preparation for the day we three – Max, Justin and I would have to compete ourselves.

"Alex, if you or your brothers were younger or less knowledgeable then this whole matter could be turned over to the appropriate normal authorities. But all of you, even Max, exceed what is allowed for memory replacement or removal. It is simply too dangerous for us to do so because we may take away more then your realization of magic. For example, your ability to eat, drink, or worse."

All of the information bombards my head painfully. I grip the sides of my head even harder rubbing my temples trying to soothe out all of the agony this new twist has placed upon my already terribly curved life.

"There is nothing else you can do? Really?" I know that my voice likely sounds similar to that of a child's but I don't care. I have to ask.

Professor Crumbs offers me a gaze I have never seen before from him. The face is full of emotion. It is a look that tells of grief and terrible sorrow. It is an expression that tells me that despite all his intelligence, all is wisdom there is no turning back. There is no appeal. The judgment is going to stand no matter what.

A long moment passes before he shakes his head no.

"Why?" My voice is nothing but a whisper but what more am I able to do? I'm still reeling, my stare now rooted at the floor. I feel as if all the energy has left my body. I don't have the strength to fight or yell like my mind so desperately desires.

In an act that I have never witnessed before he moves from behind his desk so that he is now in front of me.

Softly he places a hand underneath my chin so that once more our eyes meet. "Alex, you know that Wizard law overshadows that of mortal law. Our secret, the existence of magic must be preserved above all other priorities. The sole other option you have is you three could give up your powers forever. We would wipe your memories and completely replace your identities."

I gasp in shock and horror. "You… I… That is allowed?"

"Officially no. The knowledge of such spells is carefully preserved and designed so that no single person may perform the ritual. Given the extraordinary circumstances of what has transpired this option is being allowed." He matter-of-factly states.

This new information sinks into my brain as I think about all the outcomes. "What would that mean? My friends? My school?"

Another shake of his head indicates that I clearly missed a crucial piece of information. "When I mean completely replace your identities I mean that. You will not remember your friends, school, everything." He sighs deeply. "In all likelihood Alex, almost certainly you would not have your current siblings. Every memory, including that of your lost loved ones, even you being a wizard and magic is all going to change. Your current life and experiences as you know them would disappear."

I don't like what I am hearing and my curiosity turns from fear and now into rage.

"You would be reborn, same age, same look but with all different experiences. You may not even be aware of magic or a wizard." His voice stays steady but doesn't help me remain calm at all. "There is a good bit of random chance in this procedure. The only guarantee is that your life will be forever and irreplaceably altered. All three of you must consent to this ritual for it to be successful."

"No!" I don't need to hear anything else. "NO!" The thought of losing what family I have my friends, especially Harper. Tears prickle in the back of my eyes and I forcefully shove them away.

My parents flash in my mind. No. I won't run. I won't be a coward. I don't want to forget the people who gave me life and saved those of countless others. "I can't! I know my brother's won't agree to it either." I'm absolutely determined in my decision.

Surprisingly Professor Crumbs visibly relaxes and he removes his hands from my chin. His stare though ensures that I still am paying attention. "I assumed you would choose such a course of action and I am most thankful that you did."

Once more I nod my agreement. "What about Aunt Megan? Please don't send us there?"

"I thought we had this discussion before Alex. The matter is settled. I fear there is little more I am able to do or say on the subject." He says with a hint of finality.

Sad and angry already the passion ignites in my eyes once more. Unflinchingly Professor Crumbs doesn't seem to care and stands his ground. "You are sentencing me and my brothers to live in Hell." I don't care about his thoughts on language. She hates us. "You aren't dumb. Why can't you see that?"

Once more he amazes me by not taking offense to the harshness in my words or tone.

"The Council may be so inclined to not see or care about the consequences' but contrary to what you believe, I do."

"Then why?" I'm confused and still fuming. My body language shows this too. I am as tense as a piece of steel.

"Because you are you Alex." He moves over to one of the many bookshelves lining his office and selects a very specific one. With the wave of his hand it opens to a page. The book isn't really a book at all but a photo album. Unlike traditional ones non-magical ones this one plays back the event for a limited time span.

In this particular picture I see moments from Zombie Prom. An incident that happened awhile back that required some very interesting and creative thinking and lying on my part. While the juniors and seniors of the school had their official prom the freshman and sophomores had ours. Labeled anti-prom we, my best friend Harper and I devised a radically different idea and came up with a zombie theme.

In addition to the regular students attending Max accidentally mailed invites out to real zombies who decided to show up too. In the end they left after a rather exciting night ending with a dance off between the zombies and us.

"I did not choose that picture at random. This is one but many of an example the power your family and friends have." He places a reassuring hand on my shoulder as he stands next to me watching the scene unfold.

I smile in recollection. Despite the madness that accompanied that night I won't ever forget how much fun all the dysfunction and chaos created.

"I have watched you carefully Alex. I will admit that many a time passed when I was skeptical of your success or worthiness of being considered a wizard. I could not fathom why such a beautiful girl would warrant risking her future by consistently playing childish games and meaningless pranks."

Unsure where this conversation is leading I choose to remain quiet and stare at the moving images. While interesting my ears are much more focused on Professor Crumbs words.

"You are one of the most devious, conniving, scandalous and scheming individuals I have ever met Alex. You may not have the best attitude towards your educational habits. You consistently make mistakes but are ever learning. You challenge bounds. You rebel against that which you do not believe in. Most people I see with these habits I would consider a reckless menace.

"You are not "most people." While you are a constant pain in the backside to your older brother," my attention is further peaked as he purposely avoids mention of my parents. "You seldom go so far to cause harm. When you do you are capable of apology."

My heart is beating fast. I can't believe what he is saying to me. I almost feel like crying but for an entirely different reason. Speechlessly I am riveted on to every word, my attention now on the Professor not the book.

"If your Aunt is a horrible as you say you will find a way. For a long time Alex you have been trying to find a purpose, direction in life. This may provide you just such an avenue." The wisdom in his words is mirrored by the content determination on his wizened face. "Parents are a guiding force in a young person's life. To loose them at your tender age, I cannot imagine. Yet that does little to change the Journey of Life.

"Journey of Life?" Ok, maybe he has gone crazy. That is _definitely_ a new term to me.

He nods in a very serious matter. "The Journey may be defined loosely as collection of situations that cumulatively shape who and what a person may become. What happened to you and your brothers is a terrible, terrible tragedy but life does not stop. A negative event, this is indisputable. Equally so you cannot have a negative without positives too."

"Then what is so positive about where I am standing now? Cause right now I don't see it." I close the book and place it on his desk before loosely hanging my arms by my side looking defeated.

"I cannot answer that question and even if I could I would not. That is for you to discover. Do not underestimate your own talents. The Council may have disagreed with my recommendations but I believe in you Alex Russo. Had I thought differently that aforementioned procedure likely would have been your sole option."

I look up at him in utter amazement as he turns to look at me in the face.

"You?" I stammer. To be honest I thought he was the last person on Earth to say that to me. Most encounters I have had with him end up with a scolding or worse.

"I am harsh on you to be true. Perhaps more so then the rest but inside," he points at the center of my chest. "I know you have a good heart. People underestimate you because they view you as a simple girl who causes trouble. True, you have pulled the wool over many people's eyes, mine included on numerous occasions."

Now I'm back on the defensive and about to open my mouth when he cuts me off right as I'm about to open my mouth.

"Alex Russo to scheme, to plan and carry out such deviance requires masterful thinking and foresight on a scale that I rarely see. These are not skills that may be learned. They are a gift. You either have them or you do not. Troubled waters ahead are inevitable but you are not alone. I am here, but more significantly then anything, united you and your brothers are a powerful force."

"I… umm…I… I…" I'm stunned. To hear my teacher, mentor and occasional enemy to give me praise like this I am speechless yet again. And I do the only thing I can think off. I hug Professor Crumbs tightly.

Chuckling the elderly man hugs back patting me on the back supportively for a moment before pushing me away. Once more he raises my chin so our eyes meet. For once, despite another curve in my life I feel completely at peace.

"Go forth Alex and discover your future. Find your destiny as your parents and uncle have always taught you to do. They will watch and guide you from beyond. They are still your source for pride, strength, determination and love just as much as when they were in the mortal world. They are emphatically as real and alive now as you, your brothers and I. Never ever forget, they are apart of you just as much as you; always."

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><p><strong>Thank you again for reading. Please, please review! For those of you waiting on my other stories to update I'm working on both right now too.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3: Healing Heartbreak Harper

**I'm so sorry! Yes, it has been way too long since I updated. This story is a lot harder on me in terms of plot creation then I initially thought. So please send me a review or pm for some encouragement. At the moment I'm feeling a bit lost on this one. Unless my muse comes back it might be awhile until I update again.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Wizards of Waverly Place or any characters from the show. Of course, this is a work of fiction. **

**Chapter 3**

At my request Professor Crumbs, after checking to ensure that the coast is clear, blinks me back to where we are staying.

I arrive at the front door unnoticed and enter making my way upstairs. I can hear the sounds of laughter along with the clatter of a pot and a knife against a cutting board. From the smells reaching my nose I guess it is close to dinnertime.

Funny how I didn't notice that before by the way the sun is beginning to set. Guess that goes to show you what my mind has been focusing on.

The conversation with Professor Crumbs has thoroughly shaken me and I am in no mood for conversation. I don't even feel like eating. Instead without so much as a 'Hello' to anyone I quietly make my way upstairs

We are lucky; or rather _I am_ lucky that the family we are staying with has two guest rooms. Justin and Max have made themselves comfortable in one guest room. I have the other.

The room itself is very pleasant with a clear eye towards being feminine, friendly and welcoming. The walls are a cheerful light blue with a soft pink, patterned edging. Being on the corner and second story of the house three large windows allows for a wonderful view of the sun going down. Hues of orange, yellow and delicate red merge into a spectacular array of beauty.

Such a marvel of Mother Nature, yet none of it matters to me. I don't care. The cheerful rays are dead to me and as a result I am content in burying my head underneath a pillow. My emotions bubble to the surface and I let the tears flow in quiet rivers.

I'm so wrapped up in my own thoughts I don't even sense the presence of another in the room. My bed sinks a little as someone sits on the edge. A soft hand runs through the errant dark tresses that escape from beneath the fluffy cocoon over my head. I sniffle at the gesture of reassurance the fingers bring.

"Alex? Are you ok? What's wrong?" Justin inquires with great concern.

Thankfully he does not take away my pillow. Probably because he knows that I will throttle him if he does so.

I sniffle again as I try to gather myself.

"Please tell me what is wrong Alex." He shifts slightly so that he is now looking through the dark crevice created between the sheets and my pillow. I doubt he can see my face very well but I can see his and the love and compassion makes me want to cry all over again. "Come out? Please? I don't like it when you cry. Maybe I can help."

I sigh deeply and carefully vacate my sanctuary, sitting up on the bed. My eyes are red and blood shot and I'm sure my hair and face look equally a mess. None of that apparently matters to my brother because I'm drawn into a deep hug. My mind swirls in confusion. Despite everything I'm still not used to being held this way. Certainly not by Justin, however none of this seems to matter in the least because my heart lurches, finding a deep connection that forces my brain to accept and react. My arms snake around him in quiet solace.

I know that I don't have a choice. If anyone has to know it is Justin. I'm not looking forward to this conversation at all. My grimace gives me away as Justin grabs my hand, lacing his large fingers with my smaller ones. He double squeezes my palm in a gesture from when we were little. It is a sign that means he loves me without words. It is a sign that we haven't used in untold years but I never forget the meaning behind the action. I smile sadly at my brother as I squeeze back.

He is such a dork. That thought makes my smile grow even wider and I nearly laugh.

Instantly Justin's face appears in front of mine. His eyes are curious, filled with mirth and wonder.

"I was just thinking that you're such a dork."

To my great surprise Justin laughs. "Well, if being a dork makes you smile then I'll gladly accept the title with honor."

I giggle at him. "You know that kind of flattery won't get you everything in life." Our stupid banter is pointless but for the time being I relish each and every word. For once the weight of the world on my shoulders doesn't feel quiet so heavy.

"Really?" He snaps his fingers in mock disappointment. "I was hoping it would. I try hard to work on that too. Seemed like a good idea."

"Huh." I ask genuinely interested at what is going through his head. "Since when?"

"Since I realized you weren't at dinner." He shrugs as I look at him "I later found out you haven't spoken to really anyone today. So I figured something was up and found you here."

Now it is my turn to sigh. My gaze breaks from his. "That isn't true." Nervously I play with the hem of my shirt. I have no clue how Justin is going to react and that scares me. "I spent most of the day with Professor Crumbs."

If Justin is surprised he doesn't give much indication. All I get is a raised eyebrow. "And…?"

I groan inwardly at Justin's persistence. I then proceed to tell him of the conversation I had with Crumbs. He makes few comments but I can feel him becoming agitated. I think he inherited that same trait our Dad has whenever he got angry with me because that little vein in his forehead always seems to pop out. The same is true for Justin although it isn't nearly as visible.

Probably a good thing too since I always wondered about the healthy nature regarding my Dad's blood pressure. The thought makes me sad again and I press closer to my brother while continuing to talk.

By the time I am done we have completely rearranged ourselves. Justin is across my bed, back against the wall with pillows to support his neck and head. In exchange I've made myself comfortable by laying on top of his legs, my head on his hip as I stare up at the eggshell colored ceiling in thought. By now Max has joined us and is happily situated next to me, snuggled into my side with my arm wrapped around him.

Neither Justin or I are happy about telling Max but we do. To not would be unfair given the seriousness of what is going to happen.

What surprises me is how much has changed so quickly.

Before the accident we would never find ourselves like we are now. Oh sure there are moments when we bond. The last time that happened though was probably in Puerto Rico when Justin and I spend the night camping alone in the wilderness. Max wasn't there and the circumstances were totally different. We are on a crusade to save our family after I made a stupid wish; that our parents never meet. Together the crisis passes but those fleeting brother-sister moments are far and in between.

Now those seem to happen daily. Before part of my mind would protest this kind of contact. Now I cherish and have even come to look forward to the hugging and everything else. I suppose all of us took our family for granted. How special those bonds were and now that parts of them are gone we are desperate to hold on and keep what we still have.

That is what makes this conversation so hard, for me at least. More then either of my brothers I can relate to Aunt Megan. I am able to understand her line of thinking. First hand I can comprehend the strain and jealousy she has been put through by her own brothers. While I am determined to make sure that same separation does not occur between Max, Justin, and I the resulting anger is something that I know can last a long time. That is what scares me. She is a very vengeful person. And right now, everything inside me says that that does not bode well for any of us.

"So how long do we have?" Max inquires with a glance up to me.

My head starts to pulse again as I quickly review the conversation in my head. "I don't remember him saying a specific time but I think she will be coming soon."

"How soon is soon?" Max again reiterates.

Justin rolls his eyes while I debate how to answer. I love my brother but… Well… he is Max after all. I can't blame him _that_ much if he _didn't _confuse me sometimes I'd probably become really concerned.

"Soon Maxy. I don't know when but soon." I enjoy the frown he gives me at hearing the nickname. He always hates me calling him that. Too bad because I find it very cute and amusing the way he gets annoyed. He should be thankful that I don't add 'Pad' to the end of it, something that at times the devil in me very surely wants to do!

Sisters are supposed to cause trouble for their brothers. One of Justin's favorite sayings is how it seems that I'm hardwired to cause mayhem and chaos for him to solve. Probably some truth to that and I smile.

As hard as today has been I'm content. I'm warm with the knowledge of having my best friends, my brothers. All of us are quiet. We are simply enjoying each other's company the silence speaking far louder than any words or actions.

I'm nearly asleep. Sure Justin may be trying to tie my long hair into knots but I find the touch weirdly soothing. So you may imagine my reaction when a puff of purple smoke fills the room. Along with, of course, a very regal looking Professor Crumbs.

"Hello Professor Crumbs." Justin says in greeting. Normally he would have stood and given a more proper introduction but my position doesn't allow for it. I also don't have any intention in allowing him to get up. I'm too comfortable. He can deal with being lazy, or rather me being very lazy for a little while longer.

I don't say anything and merely yawn as I try to coax my tired eyes and brain to function once more. Max apparently as a similar idea because I then notice he is even more zoned out then I am. In fact he is fully in dreamland.

Damn. Lucky him.

"Hello Russo's," Professor Crumbs says. "Justin," he nods before looking at me. "Alex."

He doesn't mention Max so he likely arrives at the same conclusion that I do; he is sleeping.

Professor Crumbs stays standing, his arms crossed and hidden underneath the elegance of his robe. "I assume Alex told you of our conversation?"

My stomach starts to turn flip-flops, nervousness fluttering throughout my body. I don't know whether Justin is aware of what is happening but when he begins to play, twirl and gently pull my hair each time I fidget in nervousness I calm down. I mean that is what big brothers are there for right? Making the terrible bad things go away?

"She did," Justin replies. "Is something wrong?"

He shakes his head slowly. "No, nothing is wrong Justin, but I am here to inform you that in an hour your Aunt will be picking you up."

I share a prolonged glance with Justin, our eyes meeting before flickering back to Crumbs. I doubt the old man is able to tell that my brother is angry, but I can. His hand has since stopped playing with hair and has moved down to grasp my shoulder protectively. The instant her name is mentioned the limb tightens. I don't blame him either. I know that my face has darkened considerably.

Suddenly I feel trapped; frustration builds and combines with the rage. The concoction is only allowed to simmer more as the conversation continues between the good Professor and my brother. I'm trying to tune out what is being said but my stupid brain decides to merrily listen to words that serve to only agitate me. By now though the additional ingredient of sadness is thrown into the volatile mixture and that is enough to send me over the edge.

I need out. _Now_. So I do something I'm very, very good at. I interrupt.

"Justin? You got everything handled?" I'm already carefully disengaging myself from Max. I feel sorry but I know that if I stay here nothing pleasant can come out of it.

"I think so Alex. Is everything ok?" Justin asks with great concern. After years of sibling strife I am able to feel his observant eyes size me up and in that fraction of a moment he is able to see my heart.

I have not allowed myself the time to grieve, the time to process. I have created a tourniquet of ignorance around the most precious and important of organs. This is not a process of healing; it is one that delays the inevitable. Sadness, guilt, sorrow, fear leech to the surface and finally, finally my tough, rebellious facade may no longer insulate me from that which I do not want to feel.

All of this Justin discovers in a split second and he is able to infer that I'm not thrilled; that I would vastly prefer to be anywhere but here. I also am very determined to make sure that that happens, one way or another.

Fuck what anyone else thinks. The gaze that passes between us is one of fundamental understanding on the most personal of levels. Somewhere in the back of brain I fathom that he comprehends, he is supporting once again like he always has with a small nod.

I take full advantage of the situation and before anyone is able to stop me I have retrieved my wand from my boot waving it in a circle, the tip lighting as I speak quickly. "There are many rooms in the sub station, take to me to the lair above the basement! Since time is short and I am pissed. Make this fast and make it quick. Take me away so I can see my sis!"

"ALEX! WAIT!"

Professor Crumbs voice is the last thing I hear before vanishing.

Time has no meaning when you are embraced by the magical void; you become sucked into that allows you to teleport – flash – from place to place.

A second later, and in a burst of light and energy I appear at my destination. My home, specifically in the room called The Lair.

I stumble as I exit the… tunnel? Portal? I never know what to call the damn thing. Oh well, not that it matters. Sadness fills my heart as my eyes scan over the multitude of assorted trinkets and books haphazardly arranged on shelves. Lumps appear in my throat as I can feel the tears start to build, my gaze turning watery as droplets emerge on the fringes of my vision.

Before I even fathom what is happening familiar arms circle my body and I am pulled into a tight embrace. That is the last straw, the final card on top of the fragile house needed to upset the delicate balance. Feelings that have been suppressed, shoved away and ruthlessly denied can do so no longer and burst free. The first sob tearing out of my throat just as my head finds a place on the other person's shoulder.

I let my pent up frustration, fear, and doubt of the future come forth and the arms tighten, guiding us as one to the couch. The same piece of furniture that not that long ago I was sitting on listening to my Dad put me to sleep from some lecture about magic I didn't care about, but pretended I did. All of that though… all of it is like a dagger to my heart. I am living in a contradiction. I am in a safe place, a place of everything magnificent, hopeful and joyous; the arms of someone who unconditionally has stuck by my side despite all the mayhem and misery I have left in my wake. And with this security comes the knowledge that no matter what, no matter how terrible I feel, how many tears I may shed; how much pain bleeds from my soul, the person holding me will always, _always_ be there.

My best friend Harper is holding me and while we aren't related she may as well be my sister. She is the one female –the one person rather - I may turn to when everything truly goes to Hell. So I have gone to her, I have gone to the one person who can tell me everything will work out and be ok.

I don't have a clue why she is here. I don't have a clue how she knows I arrived. Maybe it is just a coincidence, but right now it doesn't matter. She is and I'm _exactly_ where I need to be, where I want to be.

"Alex look at me." she says softly.

I refuse too. I can't. I don't trust my voice so I shake my head instead. The torrents of tears that are being unleashed by the broken dam leading to my heart refuses to slow in the least. I don't register the request at all and ignore her.

Apparently this wasn't really an option because the next things that I am aware of are hands on my shoulders pushing gently off and away. Before any pang of hurt is allowed to register the hands are back, one on each moist cheek.

My eyes meet the tranquil, steadfast and reassuring pupils of Harper. Not once does she ever let me forget that she is there. The face of my sister never leaving, never wavering, instead she holds my attention with nothing but her adoration.

"Alex."

My attention shifts again and I try to look at the floor, mapping where all my tears have fallen. Harper senses my game and counters easily. Shifting her stance so that once more she invades my line of sight.

"Alex," not willing to let me get away this time she lifts my chin up so I have no choice but to meet her eyes. "I love you."

The three words are the most powerful sentence one may utter to another. Those three words never ever held as much meaning to me as they do in this instance. A prolonged bombardment of doubt, violent assaults of sadness, and waves after waves of frustration and fear of the future has left my defenses in total ruins. I have nothing left to give, nothing left to capture, and everything was for the taking.

"I'm not going anywhere Alex. I love you. I'm here for you. I've always been here for you." Harper's voice is peaceful, and most importantly sincere. For once I allow myself to look back. My eyes meet hers not in a contest of wills but in a manner that allows our souls to communicate.

I start to cry again. I don't know if I ever stopped. But I cry. My face crumbles like a cookie in milk and I find myself clinging to Harper once again. My voice returning shakily, "I missed you Harper! I missed you so much!"

The incredible amount of stress that has been building up over the past few weeks erupts from the depths of my heart and explodes. The rock hard, super strong containment that I'd diligently crafted to avoid feeling the worst of my pain and grief is torn asunder. That is why ever since the accident I had been avoiding Harper. I couldn't face her. She is the one person capable of touching my core, able to find my emotions and bring them to the surface for me to stare down, and deal with face to face.

Most of the time I try to do anything but this and if the upsetting event is temporary I am usually successful. The course of time is my ally; the past becomes forgotten, but not now. Not on this occasion. Not when my beautiful world became a wasteland of horror and hell.

My sobs freely fill the room as her hand runs up and down my back in comfort. "I don't know what to do anymore!" I weep. "Everything is wrong and I can't make it right again! My life is over Harper!"

The soft spoken, quirky, fashionably dysfunctional costume designer hugs me tighter, the solid resolve she represents needed as I unleashed waves of pain, allowing reality to finally come through my thick skull. I don't know how long we stayed like this but slowly the waterworks began to slow. A large wet spot on Harper's shoulder and arm from where I had buried my face in her comforting form.

"You've been holding those in for a long time haven't you?" Harper asks while adjusting her position so that I may comfortably rest my head on her shoulder, instead of trying to hide my face like an ostrich does with its head in sand.

"Ever since they," my voice cracks as a sob escapes. I'm able to stem the river that wants to overflow the banks of my eyes but just barely. Thankfully Harper understands.

She brushes strands of damp hair out of my eyes and off my forehead, tucking the tendrils behind my exposed ear. "You don't have to say it Alex. I know what you mean. I'm glad you're here, believe it or not I missed you too." she smiles.

I brighten at the news a bit. I feel wanted, and feel like I have a purpose, even if for a little while. My smile fades as I realize I have to give Harper the news I'm still processing. "Harper?" My voice is barely audible. How she is able to hear a word is a miracle.

"Yeah Alex?"

I reach down and grasp one of Harper's hands in my own. I need the reassurance desperately. "They… I'm…" My voice breaks as I choke again on tears that re-appear. This time it is I who initiates the hug. "I can't lose you too!" I blurt out very quickly, just before sticking my face back into the soft space that is Harper's shoulder and neck.

Harper's combs her fingertips through my scalp in patterns that leaves me craving the delicate dance that tells me without words I'm loved. My idea of avoiding this conversation by having it in a rapid-fire sentence is failing spectacularly. Story of my life I guess. I mean, my track record of successful planning isn't that great.

With that in mind I do what my brain decidedly doesn't want to do; I look up. My best friend smiles reassuringly at me before speaking.

"You're not going to lose me Alex. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here by your side." Harper grabs my hands in her own. "I love you Alex."

The solid warmth permeating cold palms is exactly what I need. And I take a deep breath, convincing myself that Harper is telling the truth. "We are moving Harper. We're going to Paris. In less then an hour."

Silence fills the room and I try to read my sister. I try to get any sort of clue from her body language but she remains still. Oh so very, very still, immovable facial expressions as if etched in stone; polished granite, pale and smooth.

The seconds pass by like hours as the silence roars louder then any tornado next door might hope to be. The moment is powerful. The air feels alive. I expect lightning to appear, to hopefully strike me down, and wake me from the nightmare this dream has become but it never does. Instead the thunder is nothing but the heartbeat of fearful anticipation pulsing against the razor thin fiber of my eardrums.

Diamonds of liquid heartbreak return. This time, unlike before, they are in orbs not my own; they are in my sister's. The power in that sight is a stick of dynamite to my steadfastness, destroying the wall between composure and chaos. In moments we are clinging to each other.

Harper is the first to move and gently pries me away from her shoulders and neck. I am very reluctant to do so and make sure that my expressions echo this point. I receive a quiet knowing smile.

"Hold out your hand." Harper instructs.

My eyebrows scrunch together in confusion.

"Don't give me that look!" Harper laughs through the tears. "I'm not Justin and I'm not going to pull pranks."

I giggle and that is when Harper takes advantage. Distracted for a fraction of a second is all she needs to enter my personal space bubble, popping it entirely as fingers plunge into my side, tickling me without pause or remorse.

I howl in pure panic, squirming, wiggling, and doing anything to escape Harper's digits. "Stop!" I am barely able to make my mouth say the word before her other hand joins in. I can't even form thoughts as her left hand fully takes advantage of the fact that I was favoring my other side. She knows exactly where to strike, when to poke and doesn't allow me to escape.

I'm a babbling wreck in seconds, struggling to get air into my super heated lungs. In the process completely forgetting that she has two hands to cause me plenty of humorous anguish. "HAR-" I can't finish the sentence and force myself to breathe. "HAR-" My sides ache terribly and I try one more time. "HARPER!"

Instantly the fingers cease. The tension in my body evaporates as I sag, leaning against her as I pant, slowly calming down from her few minutes of fun.

"That… was mean." I pout trying to put on my best sad and cute face.

Harper is beaming, a huge smile plastered on her features. "I don't think so Alex. You needed to laugh and that was the fastest and easiest way for me to make you."

I frown. "You could have done that without tickling me! Now my sides hurt!"

She rolls her eyes at me knowingly again. "Alex stop complaining. You feel a lot better now don't you?"

I blink. _I do feel better, but that could have been done minus the tickling_! "You still could have found another way." I sit up straight and defiantly cross my arms in front of my chest.

"Don't give me that attitude Alex!" Harper counters. "You know it won't work on me."

This causes me to sigh unhappily. My eyes focus on Harper but before I'm able to give her a piece of my mind she intervenes.

"Look Alex I realize you aren't happy."

If she is trying to get me riled up and agitated her mission is certainly succeeding. The embers in my eyes are rapidly turning into an all out firestorm. Fed by the whirlwind of emotions from the depths of my soul I know that if she isn't careful I am going to explode, sister or not.

Harper must have been expecting this because she isn't dismayed in the least and continues on. "Sorry. That wasn't the right way to begin."

"No. It really wasn't." I respond tartly but a grin emerges on my face before I am able to lock my emotions down in time. Apparently this _is_ the reaction my sister is striving for because she smiles, her cheeks turning a soft hue of red. Not really a blush but much more so when she is becoming emotional. Whenever that happens I've learned to expect that something huge is on the horizon. Given what I've already gone through I'm not sure how much more I can take.

Patiently I wait for Harper to explain to me what is going through her mind. Nothing comes, instead I find myself locked in a hug. The maneuver startles me greatly but I'm not complaining at all and merrily accept it.

"I love you Alex."

Only now does Harper break away, but unlike before remain close.

"I love you too Harper."

She shakes her head and this instantly causes me to frown. _She doesn't love me?_ A million questions form and try to burst forth. The only reason they do not is my brain is overloaded, it cannot decide what to ask first. The who, the why, or the _WHAT THE FUCK!_

Laughter meets my ears. "No Alex!" says Harper shaking her head quickly. "I can't believe I'm saying this but _for once_ don't think!"

I nod as my laughter meets hers as last thing I would ever, _EVER_ expect to hear from my nerdy best friend is said. _EVERYTHING _must be ok if she is saying something _THAT_ insane! Content that I'm not losing my sister I relax, trying to decipher what Harper is up too.

"As I was saying before you decided to go off and use your brain-"

"Hey! I use my brain-!"

"Sometimes." Harper finishes for me.

"Yeah!" I nod emphatically. "Sometimes! Like when it is convenient!"

"Which obviously means that a sizable portion of school," Harper teasingly pokes me in the stomach, "doesn't receive much attention does it?"

I flare my nostrils at her before exhaling loudly. "Just because teachers enjoy teaching us facts that they think are important doesn't mean they actually are."

Harper shakes her head with a small smile, not commenting at all. She knows better, although the grin says more to me then it probably should.

"Stop picking on me Alex! I was trying to be nice to you!"

"Me?" You're the one who started this!"

"Me? I don't think so!" Harper declares loudly. "If you didn't have selective thinking then I would have been able to give you something already!"

"Selective thinking?" It is a good thing that I hold Harper in such high regard. People have gotten into trouble for saying far less 'insulting' things to me; namely a certain brother of mine, not that I mind giving him a refresher course every now and then on how I am able to get under his skin.

That is when the final phrase of Harper's sentence registers. "Give me something?" I cautiously inquire.

"Yup."

"Present for Alex?"

"Present for Alex." she confirms, my interest visibly peaked.

From out of her pocket she takes out two small blue boxes and places one on her own lap. The other she hands to me.

"Open it."

The soft feel of velvet meets my fingers as I hold my breath, opening the small container. With the top held upright and in place by a metallic hinge my eyes are free to look inside. The sight that greets my eyes causes me to gasp loudly.

A golden heart shaped piece of jewelry looks back at me. I pick it up by the attached chain. The light catches the beautiful case as it gently spins, shining, glimmering.

Harper's hand gently touches my wrist. "It's a locket. Look inside."

Now I'm really curious and I do so with great care. Suddenly my mouth is extremely dry and despite this the incredible wave of emotions forces me to swallow, several times.

The interior is silver and on one side is a picture of my entire family. I'm sandwiched between both of my brothers. Standing behind me is my mother, my father on her left, and my uncle on the right. We all look happy, content, and carefree. The photograph is taken only a few weeks ago when we went on a rather unremarkable trip to the beach. I smile fondly at the memory because I vividly remember the agony to get that image taken. It took many attempts, no thanks to me. Not my fault I don't like family picture day!

Now though. Now… I'm just stunned. Stunned and overjoyed. I may hate family pictures but the memory and pranks leading up to, during and certainly afterwards make it one of the best and happiest days of my life.

The other side of the heart contains a smiling portrait of my best friend. Gingerly I run my finger over one image and then the other. As I do so I realize there is an amazing inscription carved into the silver. At the top and running the full length of the locket and above both pictures reads _Family is love._ Along the bottom reads _Family is forever_.

I start to cry. I don't even bother trying to stop. Instinctively I lean close to my sister once more. My mouth feels like it is stuffed full of cotton balls. My mind can't function. Harper has reminded me that the world isn't depressing and dark. She has reminded me that they are not gone forever. Those I lost live on in memory and spirit. Through remembrance of a fantastic day and the powerful words brought about by two simple pictures Harper has opened my eyes that I will heal. That I am not alone, that I will never ever be alone. Everyone is right by my side and that will never ever change.

I don't care that I'm on the verge of bawling. I don't care at all because this is in celebration of everything that is joyous and wonderful. The incredible weight of the world and weight of the future suddenly feels that much lighter. So I cry for the priceless gift my sister has given me at the moment I absolutely needed it most.

As Harper continues to hold me I hear her voice and I force myself to concentrate enough to listen to her. "The other box is a locket identical to yours except instead I have a picture of you." She gives me a supportive smile before wiping away the tears on my face with the pads of her thumbs. "I love you Alex."

For a second the mesmerizing locket is forgotten in favor of giving my sister the biggest and most heartfelt hug and kiss I've ever. "You're the best." I say while rocking us back in forth, not willing to release my sister.

Giggling at seeing the change in moods on my face Harper pokes my nose. "That's what I'm here for. I'm the sane to your insanity."

I snicker at Harper. "Seriously. You didn't have to give me this." I say while opening up the locket again. I still can't wrap my mind around the gift. It is _that_ incredible! "I would have managed."

"Alex stop! I wanted to give that to you. You're my best friend. We've been through a lot together. I'm not going to abandon you in your greatest time of need. Besides, I was going to give that to you anyways once we graduated."

"Me?" I think Harper has lost her mind. Although the moment is completely inappropriate for me to do so I burst out in laughter. "Graduate. You're too funny!"

Clearly irritated Harper smacks my arm despite joining me. "Don't sell yourself short. You were going to graduate. You'd barely do it, but you would have."

I'm too amused by this notion and simply beckon with my hand, giving her a sure-sure-whatever-you-saying gesture. That is when an idea strikes me. Instantly I turn serious. "Harper, let me see your locket!" My eyes are animated, shining with renewed energy as I pull out my wand.

The sight of my black wand quickly has Harper on edge. I can't truly blame her given the number of mishaps that have happened because of my magical meddling.

"Alex…"

I can hear the weary suspicion and wonder in the voice. To be honest, I'm not sure about this either but I have to give it a shot. I don't allow any of my internal reservations show at all.

With both jewelry pieces open and on my leg I begin to wave my wand in a circle slowly. Sometimes when casting spells like this I have trouble because I can't vocalize what I want. This time however, I have no such difficulty. "Locket to locket, friend to friend, join them together so we may see each other at any time. Locket to locket, when I'm alone, make these pictures move and dance to remind me of home."

The wand tip shimmers, glowing for a few seconds before returning to normal. Harper is leaning over with great interest, watching what I'm doing.

"What did you do?"

Carefully I pick up my locket and once I do the picture of my family changes. All of us are running around on the beach. I'm chasing after Justin and eventually tackle him on to the sand. Max jumping on the two of us. Harper becomes the Queen of the pile by regally sitting on top of Max. All of the adults laugh, thrilled at our play and antics.

A gasp from beside me tells me that Harper has seen what I've done and she is excited to see what happens in hers. Now that both lockets are being held the figures race off from my locket and into hers in a game of Cops & Robbers before reappearing on mine again. This time Uncle Kelbo is wearing a striped black and white robber uniform. Max does too while Justin and I follow the pair closely, waving our batons at them in mock anger.

"I animated those pictures. Now whenever we pick them up we can see our family moving and playing."

"That's amazing Alex! Where did you learn that spell?" asks Harper, gaze still on the little people below.

"Umm." I pause. I'm not sure how to tell her this. Unfortunately she knows me way, way to well.

"You stole the spell from Justin and tried it out for the first time just now didn't you?" Harper smiles at me with that glint in her eye.

I can't lie to her. Not when she already clearly is aware of what I did. "Yeah, yeah I did."

Shaking her head Harper hugs me tightly placing her locket next to mine again. I hug her back and turn my attention to the jewelry again.

"I'm glad you did that Alex. Especially since I don't have to go off on some adventure to undue all the damage you cause in your wake."

Normally I'd take great offense at this but coming from my best friend it seems highly fitting. My picture self seems to agree since she pours a bucket of seawater over a sleeping brother. Harper's picture counterpart whom having tried to unsuccessfully stop my prank smacks a hand to her forehead in disbelief.

The smiles on our face only grow larger then Harper and I laugh together, eyes still glued to the mini-movies of our lives.

I'm happy, very, very happy. I know that nothing will be able to take away this incredible moment and my heart relishes that more then anything else. I can take this memory – something I'll remember for the rest of my life – to Paris and have everyone right beside me all the way.


End file.
